Dear twelve-year-old Kit,
Your life won’t come with a manual, but lucky for you, it does come with a mom. To be honest, I’m struggling to write this because I don’t know if your relationship has a language anyone could even understand.
The dynamic you two share, as I’ve been told my whole life, is deeply unique. Maybe it’s that there was no rules in our house? Well, except that it was a no-hitting household. Yeah - let’s start there. Mom grew up in a time where there was no place for the outspoken or different. You can only image how difficult it was for her, because she’s both.
In those days, anyone who went against the grain was met with a ruler or belt – forced into a subversive environment. Instead of passing along that trauma to you, she actually raised you to explore this world with unwavering curiosity and cultivated a home that nurtured all the parts that made you different. She created the home she wasn’t afforded as a kid, so it’s like you two will get to grow up together. And though it feels like you’ve become equals, take solace that she’s fighting for you against every teacher and doctor that steps on your toes. She is your greatest advocate.
From the time you’re reading this letter, your secret won’t be revealed to Mom for over a decade. Maybe it’s because, as much of a renegade as Mom is, she doesn’t like change all that much. I think it’s the way she maintains her footing in this ever changing world. Her soul is young, and what teenager wants to be left behind?
When the time comes for you to truly let her in, I want you to remember something - Mom’s feelings towards change is nothing compared to the unwavering love she has for you. I know you’ll be frightened to the point of telling her in a moving car so she doesn’t jump out. But take comfort that after an afternoon of genuine questions and honest answers, she’ll eventually reply with one her iconic quips, “This is better for me. A guy will encourage you to take care of me. A woman would just say, drop the bitch." Like I said, your relationship is deeply unique.
More to come,